Wicked Games
by leila
Summary: Sirius Black disapeared from Remus's life ten years ago, and now he's back. When the two are attacked and captured, will the love the two once shared bring them together, or tear them apart?? R/R!! ^__^ *hands you all a cookie*
1. the origin of love

Oh, and the customary disclaimers begin! Everything in these texts belong to JK Rowling, everything is hers. Bla bla, yadda yadda... Now, more disclaimers! This has slash content, between Remus and Sirius if you hadn't guessed, so if you don't swing that way I suggest you don't read on. Nothing pisses me off more than someone who reads my fics just to bash them!  
  
So, enjoy! (There will be free hotdogs afterwards, if you care to stick around!)  
  
Title: Wicked Games  
Date: 1/5/02  
  
Author: Leila  
  
Author's tragically dead message board: [1]http://www.sipahigil.com/josh/ubb  
  
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It was a cool morning, as rays of sunshine shone in thick locks through heavy clouds. There was a strange mist about the grounds, giving it an almost mystical look as two lone figures sat outlined in their gray shroud. There was the faint sound of laughter, and two male voices, as they playfully tossed grapes at each other, and one steals a blanket from the other.  
  
"No fair!" Sirius shouted, grinning as Remus tugged his blanket off his body and rolled across the grass in it, "Seriously Remus! It's freezing out here!"  
  
"You should have thought about that before throwing your grapes at me!" Remus laughed, sitting up and scooting swiftly backwards as Sirius reached out for his covers. Sirius climbed to his knees and pursued Remus, until finally Remus caught himself on the corner of his blanket and fell backwards. Sirius grinned and leapt over the distance between them, landing on top of Remus like a cat.  
  
"I've got you now," he whispered, grabbing the corners and pulling as Remus fought to hold them tight against his chest. Remus grinned, and opened his arms, grabbing Sirius by the neck and pulling him against him. Sirius laughed and clutched Remus's torso, breathing in his strangely earthy scent.  
  
And there they lay; holding each other tightly, covered by a thick cloud of fog. "Oh Remus..." Sirius whispered, closing his eyes and letting his body melt into his loves, "I never thought"-  
  
"You never thought we'd be together. I tortured myself for months over, wondering if you felt the same way..."  
  
"Was there ever any question? I should have thought it was obvious!" Sirius whispered, listening to Remus's heartbeat, his breaths tuned to Remus's as he held onto the perfect harmony of the moment.  
  
"Yes, I suppose it was..." Remus said, furrowing his brow, maybe I wasn't sure if I did, he thought... but dismissed it. Nothing was going to ruin this for them now. Nothing could keep them apart.  
  
Could it?  
  
"Hey Sirius, what's up?" James asked, as Sirius ran hurriedly into the great hall, just making the end of breakfast. He ran in and sat down at his usual place next to James, and across from Lily, and quickly grabbed a plate of bacon and piled a side of eggs on next to it, followed by a large helping of has browns. "You're always late to breakfast, and you always sleep through first period... What are you doing that's keeping you up so late?" he asked, tossing Lily a glance that Sirius couldn't read very well. Sirius stared blankly at him, and then to Lily, and then down at his plate  
  
"I err... I've been studying a lot, it's nothing, I just need to pick up my grades. You know, I've had to stay up late, hitting the books and all," he said with mock excitement. He hid his face in his eating as he shoveled eggs into his mouth.  
  
He didn't mean to hide it from them... he knew they'd understand, and he knew they'd be fine about it, but something just told him not to. Something inside made him want to keep everything secret. At least for now, he didn't want anyone to know about him and Remus. If that meant getting up at four AM and spending his mornings lying on wet grass, so be it. He loved the time he spent with Remus anyway, especially because it was secluded and quiet... he didn't like the noise of public places, and... he didn't like prying eyes.  
  
Sirius jumped as a hand grasped his shoulder. He looked up at its owner and smiled, "Morning Remus," he said, shifting uncomfortably. Remus smiled down at him and sat close to him in the seat.  
  
"Good morning," he said curtly, smiling up at everyone around him, "Lily, James, good morning," he added, smiling at them in turn. He played with a napkin in front of him and stared at it as he twirled its corners in his fingers. There was something to be said for finding entertainment in such simple objects... Remus was sure of it, if only he knew. He furrowed his brow again, turning his gaze away from the table. He wasn't at all sure what was bothering him, but something certainly was.  
  
It was ten till, and they all decided to start off to classes. Remus picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder, as Sirius hastily shoved some books into his own bag and stood, fumbling with the latch as he stumbled a few feet away from the table.  
  
"Always so disorganized!" Remus scolded playfully, pushing on Sirius's shoulder and walking up beside him. Finally Sirius succeeded in latching his bag and slung it over his shoulder as well.  
  
"What can I say?" he said, smiling as he put on a pompous act, jutting his hips and throwing his chin in the air, "I'm just that perfect!"  
  
"Ha! I've seen Slytherins with more coordination than you have," he joked, and grabbed onto Sirius's wrist, "Come on, we're going to be late!" Sirius grinned and sped up with him, making good time down the long corridor on the way to class. He sighed and closed his eyes momentarily, basking in these new emotions that flooded his mind.  
  
Before he and Remus found each other, his time at Hogwarts was spent wastefully, as he took all passing moments for granted, living always for tomorrow, but now... he couldn't help but savor every second of the day he was with Remus, there was never a time when he wanted anything more than to be with him, in his arms! Well, almost never. Remus led them down a few darker passageways and to the old Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. In front of it stood a large group of Ravenclaws, all laughing and joking playfully, enjoying the last few minutes they had before class.  
  
Sirius smiled up at them, but suddenly felt self conscious about himself... He pulled his hand away uneasily from Remus's, brushing it through his thick, ebony locks. A few of the girls noticed him and began giggling insanely, as they quickly made their way to block his path.  
  
"Hi Sirius!" one of them said, in that airy, bubbly voice that Sirius usually associated with Ravenclaw. He smiled and leaned on his hips, posing unintentionally for them. Never let it be said that Sirius wasn't handsome. He was just as popular with the ladies as any other boy. He could have his pick, usually, and most of the time he did!  
  
Remus felt a cold, sick feeling sweep through his stomach. What was he doing? Flirting with them? And right in front of him! Remus hastily made his way into the classroom and into a seat in the far, back corner, where no one would care to glance. He buried his head in his palms... "You're being stupid Remus," he told himself, swallowing heavily, "It's nothing, he's just being friendly... he cares about you," he reassured himself, but something inside him made him wish he could stand up and let out his anger. He wanted to throw his old desk across the room, into the blackboard, and he could if he cared to try... He hated losing his temper, though. He sighed heavily and took five deep breaths, "calm," he told himself, "calm..."  
  
Sirius tried his best to get away from the Ravenclaw girls, but they did a good job of holding him up. When he finally made it into the classroom, he spotted Remus instantly, holding his head in his hands and looking miserable. Sirius stared hard at him, knowing exactly what was wrong, but wondered if he should ask anyway. He began towards Remus, but soon two Ravenclaws had taken the seats adjacent to him. Sirius paused, but decided to act as if nothing was wrong. He took his place in the back row, near the center and threw his bag onto the floor. Sitting heavily, he cast a glance over to Remus, where Remus was staring at his desk, trying to ignore Sirius's prying eyes.  
  
Sirius swallowed and turned his attention to the professor, as class had just started. He couldn't be bothered to pay attention, though, as the professor's words simply droned past him. Sirius felt horrible. Why did he let those girls catch him up in the hall? Did he want to make Remus jealous? He suddenly had the urge to walk right on up to Remus, grab him by the chin, and kiss him. Right there in front of everybody, just so he could see that Sirius Black still cared for him.  
  
Notes. The whole period was dedicated to long, boring note taking. Finally, the bell rang and Sirius stood, collecting his things and making his way to the front of the classroom to wait for Remus. Remus moved slowly, carefully putting his books in his bag, lifting it gently and wrapping the strap over his shoulder, it was almost like he didn't care to do anything, but he did because it was expected of him. Finally they met, and Remus smiled,  
  
"Hey. God, could he be any more monotonous?" he laughed, shielding his mouth from the professor's view. All bad feelings that Sirius held vanished, as he laughed along with his friend, and walked slowly out of the room, as to let everyone else go ahead of them. He smiled and looked down at the floor as they climbed a small set of stairs. "Remus," he said awkwardly.  
  
"Yes?" Remus said, almost too eager, as if he'd been waiting for something, "What?"  
  
What had he been waiting for? An apology? Sirius would never break down and apologize. But why did Remus even want an apology? Sirius hadn't done anything wrong; he'd simply talked with some Ravenclaw girls before coming into class, which was all! He sighed and kept smiling, as he knew he should. Remus never was one for letting his feelings be known. He was afraid they would offend, and he couldn't very well afford to be offending people, what with his... his condition.  
  
"Well... well, never mind," Sirius said, grasping Remus's hand almost forcefully as they entered the next corridor. Remus smiled and held on, rubbing his thumb slowly over Sirius's index finger.  
  
"Alright," he said, "That's alright."  
  
That night in bed, Remus silently thanked god for giving this life to him. His curses were many, yes, but he had never felt so complete before. Never so grateful for what the world had given him! He rolled over and smiled, brushing a thick, ebony lock off the face of his companion. "I think I love you," he whispered, watching Sirius's closed eyes as he slept peacefully, "I think I always have..."  
  
Remus's eyes drifted slowly closed, and finally he fell asleep. "I love you too," Sirius whispered, smiling as he pulled Remus's silent body closer to his own.  
  
The next morning Remus woke up alone in his dormitory. It was Saturday, and there were no classes, so he felt free to roll on over and go back to sleep. He yawned and stretched out, grasping his second pillow and holding it as if it were another body next to his own.  
  
"Err..." he muttered, as his eyes shot open. Sirius wasn't with him. He sat up in his bed, staring blankly around the room. He'd left! Remus smiled and threw his legs over the side of the bed, pulling on his house slippers as he ran out of the dormitory. He followed the small staircase down into the Gryffindor common room, and calmly walked in to join a dozen or so of his fellow housemates. "Good morning," he said, smiling up at a group of first years that waved cheerily at him.  
  
Sirius, though, was not there. Remus frowned slowly, scanning the room a second time to make sure he hadn't missed him. When sure Sirius wasn't around, Remus made his way back up into the common room and got dressed.  
  
"Where's Sirius?" Remus asked when he met up with James and Lily down in the great hall.  
  
"I don't know," James said, taking a bite of toast with jelly on it.  
  
"Neither do I," Lily said, "But now that I think of it, I haven't seen him around this morning," she added, smiling and leaning her elbows against the table.  
  
"Well, he wasn't in my- the dormitory when I woke up this morning, and he wasn't in the common room... do you have any idea where he could be?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Not a clue."  
  
"Oh well," Remus said, sighing miserably, "I guess he'll show up later.  
  
But he didn't.  
  
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Aye! The first chapter of my first fiction. I should have the next out in a few days, so wait up for it, ne? Reply! I love replies, I never used to get replies, and I probably never will, but there's a cookie in it for anyone who does!!  
  
And, now the moment you've ALL been waiting for, (I know I have), HOTDOGS!!!! **hands out hotdogs** YEAH! HOTDOGS! .... Err.... _... yeah.... H-..hotdogs.... never mind. _  
  
References  
  
1. http://www.sipahigil.com/josh/ubb 


	2. a life without sirius

Yay! I got... four... Replies on my first chapter... _ lol, don't I feel special. ^_^ any way, thanks all of you who did reply!  
  
Danielle, you'll learn to like hot dogs, and you'll learn to like them GOOOOOD!!! XD (I hate using good like that... even purposely, it makes me cringe. _) Remus Lover, I'm going to bring him back! Really I am! And uh... the cookies are... well, [1]w'amphrii69 stole `em!! ^_^ Selene, I'm working on it... so, anyway, all hail the Cookie Monster!! (He's the one who keeps me in supply!!)  
  
Thanks JK Rowling, for supplying me with Hogwarts, wizards, and a love for Remus and Sirius! ^_^  
  
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Remus paced the length of his room slowly, rhythmically, as he thought out his problem. There was something wrong with his theory, he knew it, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it... He poured through his texts, reviewing everything he'd written, even re-reading his sources, but he couldn't find anything! He'd tested his cure many times over, but it seemed no matter how close he got he couldn't figure it out exactly. Perhaps there would never be a way to rid the world of Postules, or perhaps he just hadn't come across it yet...  
  
He hadn't planned on spending his nights this way, he just sort of... happened on it. After he graduated from Hogwarts, he didn't really know what to do. He found himself in the Amazon, suddenly, searching for medicinal cures in magical plants. It was lonely work, camped out in dense jungles where population was scarce, and it took forever for an owl to find it's way out of the jungle and back into the world to it's notes' recipient, but he liked it that way. He never was very social, and it was only so fitting that he could put himself so far away from humanity.  
  
He frowned and turned to the window, leaning on the ledge and staring out into the black night. The darkness seemed to envelope the Earth, and he smiled out at it. Something about the dark of night soothed him... maybe because when the night was as dark as it was tonight, he didn't have to worry about growing seven feet tall and sprouting thick brown hair all over his body. He furrowed his brow and rubbed his eyes.  
  
"God, I'm tired," he said to himself, stretching his arms outwards and yawning loudly. He turned around and began to unbutton his shirt, starting with the cuffs and collar, and then trailing the row of buttons down his front. He threw it haphazardly into the corner, among a pile of strewn clothes, and sat down on the bed before him. He kicked off his shoes, and pulled off his socks in turn. As he started on his belt, half naked, he noticed movement outside his window.  
  
A black dog. It was a big black dog down in his lawn.  
  
Remus jumped up and ran to his window, leaning his head out the frame to get a better look. His heart thudded heavily in his chest, as he stared down into the shadows, searching for some form of movement, until finally he found what he was looking for. But it wasn't what he was looking for, really, the animal kicked a clump of dirt or two over his mess and left, wagging his tail stupidly.  
  
Remus returned to his bed. "Quit fooling yourself, Remus," he moaned, leaning on his knees and rubbing his eyes yet again, "He's never coming back. You've spent ten years hoping he would turn up, and he never has... he's dead."  
  
Remus fell into a stupor, staring at a blank spot on the floor, not really looking at anything, but staring as hard as he could. Why did it still hurt him to think of it? Sirius Black had been out of his life for ten years, he was long gone, so why did Remus find so much pain in dreams long lost?  
  
"I hate you," he spat, feeling a wave of uncontrollable anger sweep over his body. He rolled over in his bed, throwing his head into his pillow, "I hate you for leaving me here in this world alone! I hate you for swearing me into a life of solitude! It was mine to do with what I pleased before you came along!" Remus cried, thrashing his hands into his pillows. He grabbed one and sat up abruptly, taking it by the corners and pulling with all his might. Soon after the seams began to rip, and the pillow came apart as Remus threw it's feather-spewing carcass onto the floor.  
  
Suddenly he stopped, staring blankly down at it. "I don't know what I'm going to do," he whispered. He found himself talking to shadows, now, he'd gotten so used to talking only to himself that it wasn't uncommon for him to have whole conversations with no one. No one was all he had anyway, so he saw no problem with sharing conversations with no one. "I don't know how I'm ever going to find myself again..."  
  
He sighed and turned over, pulling the blankets up on his bed and crawling dejectedly under them, falling heavily onto his pillows and drifting off into sleep right then, still wearing his trousers.  
  
The next morning Remus awoke with a start. He didn't really feel well. Last night's occurrences had sent him in a fit of rage, and he didn't like it. He sighed and threw his legs over the bed, pulling on his house slippers as he had done every morning since the morning Sirius had disappeared, out of sheer habit. He realized he'd slept in his trousers and cursed himself silently. He sat down again and threw them onto the floor, standing back up in his boxers. He yawned again and stretched, scratching his sides as he walked to his bathroom and stared in the mirror.  
  
His hair was dusty brown, and shaggy. It hung in his face and around his ears messily, but he liked it that way. His face looked worn after years of long days in the jungle, but still his youth shown through. He was only twenty-seven, after all; he wasn't really very old. He studied himself carefully, turning to get a profile and flexing his arms. He had built himself up, sort of, working in the Amazon, but he was still skinny. He sucked in his stomach to puff out his chest, putting on his best manly, `I'm going to get you!' face, but let it all out heavily. That wasn't him. He sighed and set to his bathroom duties.  
  
In the kitchen that morning he poured himself a glass of orange juice and walked into the living room feeling refreshed. His hair was damp and messy, and his shirt un-tucked and unbuttoned, but who was he trying to impress? He had thrown on a maroon button down and some gray slacks, and set off into his day.  
  
Half way through reading the paper, he realized he had nothing to do. "You're so lame, Remus," he said to himself. He decided to go to the market.  
  
He threw on a pair of sandals and walked out of his small house, grabbing his wallet off the stool by the door and hastily buttoning four of the buttons on his shirt on the way out. He smiled and waved at his neighbor, who was doing lawn chores, and began down the road to the market.  
  
It was only about three blocks away, so he didn't mind walking, but the large amount of people worried him. It was a lot different in Altrincham than it was in the jungle, and he wasn't used to so many people looking at him. But he ignored them and walked on, his shirt only half buttoned and un-tucked, wearing sandals with dress pants. (He had given up trying to look presentable years ago)  
  
On the way, his mind wandered to the night before... he really had thought he'd seen Sirius out in his yard. He smiled and laughed smugly to himself, knowing he was just being stupid, but it still felt like a lump in his stomach. Every time he'd seen a big black dog in the ten years since Sirius disappeared, he jumped and had a panic attack. Every time it reminded him of Sirius. In a way, Sirius had never really left him; he stuck around in the form of dogs. Dogs haunted Remus. It had almost driven him mad, he'd tried to kill himself countless times in his last years at Hogwarts, but always he'd been found before the sweet release of death could capture him, as he was sure it took his lover.  
  
Remus covered up his wrists uneasily, and turned into the market. It was crowded with people, as it generally was on a Saturday morning. He pushed his way through to the produce stands. He liked going to the open market, it was more down to earth that the huge commercial stores he saw popping up all over England. He smiled as he selected a bundle of bananas and paid for them, along with apples and oranges, and a few loaves of bread. He filled his arms with milk and cheese, bread, fruits, various vegetables, meat, until he couldn't carry anymore and decided it was time to leave. He struggled with it all the way to his street.  
  
His street seemed dark, like a huge clump of clouds had just covered up the sun, and was blocking its rays. No one was out, now, and it cast an eerie sort of appearance on his road. He could see his house down the way, and silently thanked the gods for letting him get all the way home without spilling his groceries, but he thanked them a second too soon.  
  
He fell hard, as apples, oranges, and a head of lettuce rolled out of his bags onto the sidewalk. His eggs were crushed, but luckily his milk had been saved.  
  
Remus groaned and picked himself up, dusting off his trousers and straightening his shirt as he shook his head. He looked around for what had caused his accident, and suddenly he saw it; a big black dog. He should have known! Dogs had been haunting him for years; it could have been easily guessed that this was just another one of fates games.  
  
"Stupid mutt!" he shouted, kicking at the animal but missing as it darted away from his foot, "I'm sick of you animals! I hate dogs! Leave me ALONE!" he cried, feeling the symptoms of an oncoming panic attack.  
  
He turned and busied himself with picking up his groceries, piling them back into his arms, and feeling quite relieved when the mangy animal's stupid panting had stopped, and he knew it to be gone. He stood straight and turned around, starting back on his way to his home, cursing that foolish animal for making him trip.  
  
"Here, let me help you," came a voice from the other side of his bags, which were now blocking his view. He gladly handed over one of the bags,  
  
"Thank you!" he said, exasperated, "Thank you very much, you don't know how much this means to"-  
  
He stopped mid sentence. He stared open mouthed at the person before him.  
  
"You nearly hit me with that foot of yours," he said, with a smirking half smile as he stared at Remus.  
  
"Sirius!" Remus shouted, and for the second time in a day, he dropped his groceries onto the ground.  
  
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Well, there it is for the second chapter! ^_^ replies are welcome!!  
  
References  
  
1. http://fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=166699 


	3. a desperate quarrel

Check it out! Yet three MORE replies! I rule! (Christ I'm pathetic. Excited over seven replies. Lol, my writing must REALLY suck. ^^;) Now, to those of you kind enough to reply this time... Stellar, yes, he's back... you sound OH so enthusiastic. ^^; Remus lover, I forgot to mention this I guess, but I've thrown out everything we know of what happened to the Marauders, everything. Think of it as an... alternative track. And, yes actually, I am trying to drive you crazy. MWA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA!!! HA HA HA HA H-*hacking cough* ..._ Princess Bard, wait no more, "ofr" (to get that joke, read her reply (love ya princess, I'm only teasing ^_^) I have yet another chapter! BTW, Remus lover, what the hell is an AU? ^^; **feels foolish**  
  
My writing is slowly decreasing. Don't run away! I know this thing had a slow start, but honestly, it IS going somewhere, I assure you. I'm thinking deatheaters or something, I don't know, maybe I'll send them to middle-earth with frodo and sam ^_^.  
  
JK Rowling! Thanks for lending me all the characters in this story. ^_^ Oh yeah, and due to time constraints, I didn't really get a chance to proof read this so... heh... ^^;  
  
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"Sirius!" Remus repeated, stepping backwards in shock. He stared forward, watching this man's every move. He was laughing now, mocking Remus... laughing at him! Remus frowned and stared hard at the man before him. "What's so funny?" He spat, his voice turned cold.  
  
"You! Remus, you're falling all over yourself! Here, let me help you," he said, starting to pick up Remus's groceries again.  
  
"Keep away!" Remus cried, stepping back yet again.  
  
"Remus," Sirius said, his brow furrowing as he glared up at his old friend, "What is the matter with you? It's me, Sirius," he said, standing up slowly as he set the bags he held down on the concrete, "What's wrong?"  
  
"What's wrong?" Remus sputtered in disbelief, feeling a wave of emotions sweep over him. He suddenly felt ill. His skin grew quickly pasty as the blood rushed to his head. He steadied himself with his arms outstretched, unwilling to let himself faint before this imposter, "You're what's wrong! You- you're not Sirius Black, Sirius Black died ten years ago! He's dead... you can't be Sirius Black!" Remus fought to speak clearly, but his words were already slurred.  
  
"Are you alright?" the man asked, a look of concern spread across his face. He took Remus by the elbow to help steady him, but Remus swatted his hand away,  
  
"Don't touch me!" he spat. Finally he felt the ground leave him as his body toppled to the concrete. He held onto his consciousness as long as he could, watching a blurred Sirius fret over him, but slowly the world faded away, and he fell to a deep coma.  
  
Something strange was happening. All around him there was fire, huge towers of fire and brimstone. Everything was yellowy orange, burning, fire, hot, Remus had to squint his eyes to see. He stared around; watching as stacks of magma billowed up, shooting towards the skies, but there in the flames, laid the outline of a boy. A small, scared boy, circled by fire, "NO!" Remus cried, running the length of the ledge he stood on. He had to save him; he had to get to the boy, to drag him from the flames. There was no way to get to him; he'd have to cross the fire to reach him... "I'll save you!" he cried, coming to a halt at the end of his ledge. He cried out, as a shoot of fire caught his hand, but miraculously, it did not hurt. He stared at it; turning it over before his face... his hand was completely unscathed. He stared out into the mess of fire and liquid rock, a look of reluctance on his face, "Don't go!" Remus jumped the ledge, plunging headfirst into the fire. It was  
pleasantly warm, tickling his body as he hung in midair, in a stream of fire he floated peacefully. It was quite serene there in the flames, strangely beautiful as the golden tails flailed around him. He caught sight of the boy once more; hanging in the fire with him, "Wait!" he mouthed, but no sound came out. He fought to reach him, fought to grasp his hand, but he never could reach far enough. Finally, with one last stretch, their hands met, and the boy's eyes shot open. Suddenly everything good or pleasant about the fire melted away, as Remus's flesh began to boil, "NO!!!" He cried, his eyes swelling up with tears as he writhed in the flame. He caught one last glimpse of the boy, still floating quietly beside him. He was smiling. Staring at Remus and smiling...  
  
"Remus, Remus wake up!" a voice shouted, calling from the other side. Remus pushed his eyes open.  
  
He was in his house, on his couch, and something cold and damp was patting his face... a cloth. That man was patting his face with a damp cloth, in his house, on his couch. Remus sat up abruptly, scooting away from the man's touch, "What do you want?" he whispered, still disturbed by the strange dream.  
  
The man looked taken aback, then frustrated, "Still you deny me," he said, his voice venomous. He stood and walked to the other side of the room, shaking his head slowly as he ran his fingers through his long black hair. He found himself by a door, and leaned on it, deliberately facing away from Remus.  
  
Remus stared at him. He was beautiful... He really was Sirius. His long shaggy hair hung down to his shoulder, choppy, just how Sirius had always liked it. His skin was pale, but healthy, his fingers were long and slender. He wore a plain white shirt and black slacks, yet he still looked boyish. Remus studied his figure leaning against the door, and longed to call out to him... he had waited ten years to hold Sirius again, ten years to know his touch once more... He sighed and looked away.  
  
"Get out of my house," he said, burying his face in his knees, as he drew them against his chest.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You heard me, leave," Remus persisted. He held back the tears he knew were fighting to fall freely, but he couldn't just let this happen. For all he knew it was just an illusion, just another dream. Sirius Black is dead.  
  
"No."  
  
Sirius's voice was steady, firm, although he still looked away from Remus. He too had waited those ten long years, but he wasn't going to leave again. He wasn't going to let himself disappear a second time. He turned to look at Remus, and found him hiding in his little shell. Swiftly he made his way to the couch, sitting down beside him.  
  
"I'm not going anywhere, Remus... I know you don't really want me to leave," he said, staring at the top of Remus's head.  
  
"But I do, Sirius."  
  
"Well I don't want to leave."  
  
"Why?" he spat, rising his eyes to glare at Sirius, "You didn't have any problems with it before."  
  
Sirius fell back onto the back of the couch, rubbing his eyes furiously as he tried not to break something. "That isn't true," he said, his voice quiet, "I didn't have any choice, anyway."  
  
"What do you mean you didn't have any choice?!" Remus shouted, jumping off the couch and stumbling into the middle of the room, "You up and left me in the middle of the night!"  
  
"It wasn't that I wanted to, Remus! I HAD to!" Sirius cried, standing up off the couch as well.  
  
"I don't want to hear this, just leave me alone!" Remus whimpered. He sat haphazardly onto the floor, dropping his head into his hands, "Leave me alone, Sirius."  
  
"Remus..." Sirius whispered... He stared at his old love. He used to smile sometimes... he used to laugh and smile, and he was funny, and happy, and now look at him. Is this what he'd done? Is this what Sirius's absence had brought? Remus was broken. Sirius fell to his knees beside Remus, wrapping his arms around his shoulders, "Remus, please, don't send me away yet," he whispered.  
  
Remus pulled away from Sirius's touch, "I won't make you leave," he said, "But if you touch me, I'll kill you."  
  
That night Remus shut himself in his bedroom, and didn't come out.  
  
Sirius found his way around the house. He knew where almost everything was, because he'd been watching Remus for some time now. It had taken him a long while to work up the nerve to finally bump into him on the street, but he finally had... and this is how he is greeted.  
  
Sirius had to be honest wit himself, though. Did he really expect Remus to come crying into his arms, and for everything to be all right? No, not really. Deep down he knew that Remus would be angry with him, he just didn't really want to know it...  
  
He sighed and poured himself a glass of orange juice, "What are you going to do with yourself, Sirius?" he said, laughing (sort of) as he leaned on the cabinet and drank it slowly.  
  
Suddenly he heard a commotion coming from Remus's room, accompanied by muffled screams. "Remus?" he said, setting down his glass and walking slowly, cautiously towards Remus's room. A crash, and the sound of breaking glass, "Remus!" He cried.  
  
He ran as hard as he could to the door and turned the knob, but it wouldn't turn, "Locked! Damn you Remus!"  
  
He took a few steps back, and kicked it with everything he could. The hinges broke, and the door fell forward, crashing onto the post of Remus's bed. "Remus?!" he said frantically, but the mirror was shattered on the floor, and the window was wide open. He stood, watching the drapes swept slowly forward and backwards in the wind, "Remus..."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``  
  
AH HA HA HA HA HA!!!! XD to be continued.... 


	4. meeting the kidnappers

Wheee! Yes, princess, I did just leave it there.. MWA HA HA H-**hack**.... **ahem** Koori, I'll try to finish it! Lol, providing people keep on replying, that is. ^^; Diva, I wouldn't just kill off Remus! He's too secksy for that! ^_~ Hestia, hehehe... I know cliffhangers are evil, I only write them to make you all suffer and writhe in pain! Oh well, I might as well quit stalling and start writing... ^_^ ja!  
  
God bless JK Rowling for being sweet enough to give me all these characters and settings! ^_^  
  
~~~~~  
  
"Remus..." Sirius whispered, staring out the window. He choked, suddenly he couldn't breath, it was all too much. He stumbled onto the bed, knocking the fallen door onto the floor, "R-Remus," he sputtered, "This can't happen again..." he whispered, grasping the bed post and holding it tightly against him, "No."  
  
Sirius stood abruptly, stumbling over to Remus's closet, "Come on..." he urged, throwing clothes and shoes, socks and ties out of the way to find what he was looking for, "Come on! Be here, damnit!" He jumped up and ran out of the room, taking the stairs three at a time as he sped down into the hall, skidding to a halt in front of the hall closet. He threw open the door and began shuffling through everything in there as well, "Please, please be here..." he whispered. It wasn't there. He stood up shakily, rubbing his hands over his eyes, "Think, Sirius, think! Where would Remus keep it..."  
  
Suddenly Sirius got an idea. He ran to the utility closet, tossing mops and buckets aside, "YES!" He cried, standing up and stepping out of his mess, brandishing Remus's broom. He climbed up the stairs, running into Remus's room and barely paused as he leapt through the window, throwing Remus's broom under him in mid-air.  
  
He peeled his eyes over the horizon, looking for something, someone on a broom, a large gathering... anything that might help him know which way they took Remus. He climbed up in altitude, gathering speed all the way, "They could be anywhere," he fretted, scanning the moonlight night for anything out of the ordinary, "By now... Remus could be dead... No, I can't think like that now, I have to find you..."  
  
Time passed slowly. Five minutes, ten minutes, twenty, and hour, but Sirius kept on, staring frantically around. He couldn't keep on like this; the warm glow of the sun was already creeping up over the horizon, and he couldn't be out on his broom in daylight...  
  
~~It was a cool morning, as rays of sunshine shone in thick locks through heavy clouds. There was a strange mist about the grounds, giving it an almost mystical look as two lone figures sat outlined in their gray shroud. There was the faint sound of laughter, and two male voices, as they playfully tossed grapes at each other, and one steals a blanket from the other.  
  
"No fair!" Sirius shouted, grinning as Remus tugged his blanket off his body and rolled across the grass in it, "Seriously Remus! It's freezing out here!"  
  
"You should have thought about that before throwing your grapes at me!" Remus laughed, sitting up and scooting swiftly backwards as Sirius reached out for his covers. Sirius climbed to his knees and pursued Remus, until finally Remus caught himself on the corner of his blanket and fell backwards. Sirius grinned and leapt over the distance between them, landing on top of Remus like a cat.  
  
"I've got you now," he whispered, grabbing the corners and pulling as Remus fought to hold them tight against his chest. Remus grinned, and opened his arms, grabbing Sirius by the neck and pulling him against him. Sirius laughed and clutched Remus's torso, breathing in his strangely earthy scent.  
  
And there they lay; holding each other tightly, covered by a thick cloud of fog. "Oh Remus..." Sirius whispered, closing his eyes and letting his body melt into his loves, "I never thought"-  
  
"You never thought we'd be together. I tortured myself for months over, wondering if you felt the same way..."  
  
"Was there ever any question? I should have thought it was obvious!" Sirius whispered, listening to Remus's heartbeat, his breaths tuned to Remus's as he held onto the perfect harmony of the moment.  
  
"Yes, I suppose it was..." Remus said, furrowing his brow. Nothing was going to ruin this for them now. Nothing could keep them apart. ~~  
  
Suddenly Sirius jumped. He rubbed his eyes sleepily, staring out at where he was. He was on his broom... in the air, the sun was up... the sun was up! He'd fallen asleep! Sirius kicked his broom higher up, rising into the low-hanging clouds, and increased his speed. Who knows how long he'd been asleep! What if someone had seen him? What if he'd passed Remus's kidnappers?!  
  
Sirius swerved frantically through the clouds, scanning each inch of the horizon, trying to find something there that would bring him to Remus. He couldn't believe it. Remus could be gone forever, simply because he was tired! How could he ever live this down... How could he ever forgive himself?  
  
"I'll kill myself," he said, moments form tears, "I'll kill myself if he's dead, I'll kill myself if I have to spend the last half of my life alone, just like the first!"  
  
Suddenly he saw something, a small speck just before him. He could barely make out that there was anything there, as he was blinded by sunlight, but there was definitely something in the air.  
  
Hope flooded into his mind, as he kicked up his speed again, hurrying towards whatever it was. Faster and faster, finally he got within 300 yards of it; he could see it almost clearly. People, on brooms, one with two people, Sirius closed his eyes momentarily, thanking lady luck for letting him find them.  
  
His broom jerked violently, swerving to the left. Sirius stared at it, and steered it forward. Again it jerked, but this time it swerved to the left, and then the right. Sirius grabbed it fiercely, trying to steady it. "What the"-  
  
But he cut himself off, as his broom spun over. Suddenly, Sirius was hanging upside down, clutching his broom with his hands as it jerked and swerved, trying it's best to throw him off. He screamed, his voice cracking with fright. "AH! HELP! HELP ME!" he cried, trying to pull himself back up onto the broom. He stared at the broom, as he pulled himself up against it, so that he could throw one leg over the side. Suddenly, he shot a glance at the group below and ahead of him. He stared wide-eyed at what he saw. Remus had awoken; he was now struggling with the second man on their broom to throw him off. Sirius noticed that this man had a wand, and was trying desperately to keep it fixed on him.  
  
But the broom jerked again. Sirius was thrown off. He reached up desperately, and clutched the end of the broom, hanging by one hand. He reached up with the other to grab again, but every time he got close the broom would swerve violently. Sirius tried frantically to think of a way to get him back up, but as he thought the broom began to kick more violently before. He was slipping, steadily, as his sweaty fingers began to slide over the slick wood of the broom. Sirius stared wide-eyed at it, and then to Remus. The main pointing the wand at Sirius was holding Remus back. Suddenly, he jumped up, throwing his arms around the huge man's neck, and grabbed the wand, jerking it away. Sirius's broom gave an almighty lurch, and almost threw Sirius off, as he hung desperately.  
  
Remus took hold of the man's arm, holding the wand out over the side of the broom. The man leaned out to get it, stretching as far as he could with his fingers to reach, and suddenly Remus let go. The man tried for a moment to regain his balance, but finally fell, screaming all the way. Sirius stared. Remus had just killed a man. Sirius couldn't believe it, Remus was the gentlest soul he had ever met; yet here he had just killed! But Remus stared up at him, and a small smile spread across his lips. Sirius couldn't bring himself to care, and just smiled back.  
  
The broom had quit kicking, and Sirius pulled himself back up. "Thank you," he mouthed... suddenly he became aware of the two other brooms heading swiftly towards Remus. Sirius fell down onto the broom, clutching it tightly, as one of them narrowly missed his head. The other, though, slammed right into the back of his broom. Remus was thrown.  
  
It was almost like slow motion, watching him fall. The sun shone gloriously through thick, misty clouds, and although Sirius's heart near burst, it was beautiful. Remus threw out his arms, kicking dramatically as he fell, two feet, five feet, ten... he was nearly 400 yards in the air, and the fall would most certainly kill him. Sirius stared in disbelief, his brain trying frantically to register what was happening. Suddenly, he threw himself down, leaning his broom in for a steep, swift dive. Once James had shown him how to do this... it was almost impossible to imagine James now. Those days were so innocent, care free, and here they were now, being kidnapped and attacked by whoever the hell was doing this.  
  
Sirius kept low, gaining speed, faster and faster as he dove down towards Remus. Suddenly, his arm fell limp, and it stung furiously, like someone had just lit fire to his shoulder. But he ignored it, there was no time, he kept on, not paying any attention to the various curses being shot at him from the two brooms, nor to the fact that they were gaining steadily on him.  
  
Suddenly he pulled up, underneath Remus as he fell right on top of the broom. The hard hit was too much, the broom lurched and spun over, and Remus fell again, reaching out frantically to grab hold of it. Sirius let go with his arm, holding the burning one against his chest as he threw out his hand towards Remus. He held his legs firm around the end of the broom, and caught hold of Remus's arm, jerking forward as Remus's weight added to his own made the broom dip violently.  
  
He stared down at Remus, holding tightly onto his wrist as their broom sped steadily forward. Sirius was panting, and was quite aware that they had almost both died, yet a wide grin spread across his face, "Remus, c-climb up my arm, I can't pull you up,' he stuttered, still grinning down at him.  
  
Remus reached up with his other hand and took hold of Sirius's arm. He pulled himself up, reaching for Sirius's neck for support. Sirius felt like his legs were going to fall off, with the insane amount of pressure that was being put on his body just to hold on. But he held tight, as Remus climbed up his back, and desperately pulled his body onto the broom. He reached down and grabbed Sirius by the shoulder, pulling him up as well.  
  
"Sirius, you saved my life!"  
  
"Don't mention it," Sirius panted, his face red with exhaustion. Suddenly, he reached for his arm, grimacing as he peeled back the torn sleeve of his shirt. His flesh was hot and torn open, with a gash that looked an inch deep.  
  
"You're arm! What happened?!" Remus cried, holding Sirius's shoulder tightly as he stared at the open wound.  
  
"I don't know," Sirius said, wincing, "Don't worry about it, it doesn't hurt," he lied. He forced a smile and looked at Remus, "Are you alright?" he said, trying to make his voice sound as normal as he could.  
  
"Remus, look out!" he cried. Up from behind Remus came a huge arm, holding a thick black pipe. It swung down, and struck the backside of Remus's skull, "Remus!"  
  
But from behind Sirius came the other man, and he grabbed Sirius's arm, wrapping them painfully behind his back. Sirius felt like his wounded arm was going to fall off, and screamed in pain as he threw his head back, fighting to breathe through painful gasps. Remus's limp body fell heavily onto his lap, as his arms hung limp off the side of the broom. "Remus, no!" Sirius cried, but suddenly he felt a hard smack on the back of his head. He felt himself falling over Remus, but then his consciousness faded into a pitch-black coma.  
  
~~~~~  
  
...BWA HA HA HA HA HA!!! XD Sorry this chapter took so long, school is a bitch! Wait up for the next one. ^_^ 


End file.
